b'Has the pandemic left you feeling broken-hearted?It Might Be GriefBY TRINA KLEISTThe COVID-19 pandemic hasFROM TEARS TO JOYfilled us all with a sense of loss, andDuring the Grief Groups 14-week from loss any loss flows grief. course, people at first are often tense and When left unhealed, those feelingssilent. Like the layers of an onion, the can fester into depression, anxiety, fear,events that spawned their grief peel back. anger and even violence, say leaders ofParticipants examine key relationships, a local nonprofit dedicated to helpingusually in ones childhood, for clues to people resolve loss and grief. But when wethe griefs origins, and the patterns it confront the feelings, notice how they playproduced. As participants work in small out across our lives and our relationships,groups, tears flow. Todays overwhelming seek their origins, forgive ourselves andpain is really wrapped up in a whole others, make amends and resolve toPhoto by Trina Kleist history of losses, says Vern Smith, 76, live fully, those feelings fade or becomeFacilitators of the Healing Through Loss and Grief Support Group:who facilitated courses for 20 years.Volunteers Vern Smith, left, and Lily Marie Mora helped facilitatePerhaps the hardest part of examining manageable. support groups for more than two decades. Recently, volunteers We can stop making the same oldChristina Slowick and John R. Davidson are leading. The waterfallour losses is facing the emotions they on Gold Run, flowing beside the Northern Queen Inn, Nevadastir up, such as fear. For some, anger or mistakes. We find new energy. City, evokes the liberating soul-work that Grief Group participants Say hello to a new life, says Lilyaccomplish during the free, 14-week course.sadness can dominate other feelings, Marie Mora, a long-time volunteer withsays Davidson. Grief Group participants Healing Through Loss and Grief Supporthome or perhaps lost our home. We becameare encouraged to face them all. Every Group. The Grief Group, as participantsour childrens and grandchildrens teachers,emotion brings a gift to us, if we can call it, offers a free, 14-week course twicewe wore masks in the grocery store. Ourunderstand what the emotion is and learn a year through the FREED Center forfamilies and friendships frayed overwhat it is trying to teach us, he adds.Independent Living in Grass Valley.ideological disagreements, and our nationParticipants chart key events in their lives, During weekly meetings, the program usesexploded in violence. Our loved ones gotboth positive and negative, and consider the readings, lectures, large-group check-ins,sick, and we couldnt visit. When they died,feelings sparked by each. We start to realize small-group support, at-home journalingwe couldnt gather to mourn. that life repeats itself, Mora says. If we and other techniques to wrestle with loss. Loss piles upon loss, month after year. dont figure out the grief experience of our Those willing to go to the mat can arisechildhood, instead, many times, our next to live in authentic joy, says co-facilitatorGRIEF IS THE CONFLICTINGboss is the mean mom or dad.John R. Davidson, 67. Its not so muchLike a clear sky after a storm, the spent that we recover from grief. Grief recoversFEELINGS CAUSED BY THE END OFemotions give way to light.us from irretrievable loss, he says. GriefOR CHANGE IN A FAMILIARI see this in every group, says Smith. transforms us. PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR,WRITEThey come in, and the room is just thickLOSS LEADS TO GRIEF, LOSS ADDS UP JOHN W. JAMES AND RUSSELLwith grief and sadness. Then that shifts Death and divorce are only the mostFRIEDMAN IN THE GRIEF RECOVERYgradually. I start seeing people interacting obvious forms of loss. Any change in aHANDBOOK. WHILE GRIEF ISwith joy, and at the end, really, celebration.familiar pattern of behavior can cause theNORMAL AND NATURAL IT ISBy the end of the program, grief released conflicting feelings that characterize grief,ALSO THE MOST NEGLECTED ANDmakes space for gratitude, wisdom and a write experts John W. James and RussellMISUNDERSTOOD EXPERIENCE. new commitment to life. Participants also Friedman. Their book, The Grief Recoveryleave with a basket of skills for facing future Handbook, is one of the resources the Grieflosses and a network of people they can call Group uses. on, Mora says.The on-going coronavirus pandemic hasGrief is this painful kind of emotion thatGrief can help us clarify our values, Mora wreaked change on all of us, says Mora,encompasses fear and sadness and anger.adds. Were picking up the broken pieces of 67, who came to the group more than twoBut the big thing we see now in our groupsourselves, letting go of all that grief and taking decades ago when her brother died. Ouris, its complicated grief, Mora says. Theback our authentic selves. We move into faith centers and social places shut down,changes the pandemic has created affectbeing the empowered adult like never before.we isolated, we lost our jobs, we worked atalmost every aspect of our lives.And we let that light shine.10SENIOR DIRECTORYWestern Nevada County Edition 2022-2023'